How to Buy an Elephant by John Krausz

Author:John Krausz
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Skyhorse
Published: 2011-03-23T00:00:00+00:00

Avoid every unnecessary display of money, since no solid excuse can be offered for so dangerous an act of carelessness, or so pitiful a gratification of little-minded vanity. This practice is but too common with persons of weak intellect, or with perfect novices; and if, instead of being the result of thoughtlessness, their aim is to impress others with an idea of their consequence, it counteracts the very effect they endeavor to promote, for, just as every thinking observer concludes that the being the owner of a horse, or the master of a servant, must be something quite new with a person who more frequently than others introduces “my horse” or “my servant” into his conversation; so, to him, it cannot fail to become a confirmation that the possession of large sums must either be unusual or of recent date, with persons who so sillily can expose themselves to additional risks, by thus inviting and provoking the ingenuity of sharpers and thieves of every description.

The bank, banking houses, army and navy agents, or similar places which you may have occasion to frequent for the purpose of receiving money, should always be left in a more rational way than is pursued by many on leaving bankers’ doors, and where you may see persons cramming handfuls of bank notes into pocket-books, in the very doorway even, or deposit cash bags about their dress as they walk along the street. When you have to receive money at such places, seek a position at the counter, as remote from the door as possible, there to count your money, and stow away your cash or pocket-book before you open the door. Where the sum is large, or the receiver is a stranger to the ways of London, to have a coach in readiness at the door is by far the wisest course. Similar precautions are applicable where you have to pay accounts at fashionable warehouses, etc.; for there, as well as at bankers’ windows, nay, even those of pastry-cooks, pickpockets or their scouts, disguised as beggars, servants, etc. are constantly on the look out, although less so since the police system has been perfected. Where you can settle your account in a counting house or a back shop it is always to be preferred.

The approaches to the bank about the time dividends are paid, the coffee houses, and even the shops and auction-rooms contiguous, swarm with a set of thieves and swindlers, seen there, and at these periods only, called “dividend hunters,” whose object is, by all manner of ways (and some really of a serviceable and therefore ingratiating nature) to endeavor to draw you into conversation, into joining meals, or into joint purchases, or billiard or backgammon play for wine or money, or into betting upon political events, and by thousands of other schemes: they will speak of each other as persons of the highest respectability, and of great mercantile consequence ; and these amiable communications they will whisper into your ear, if so

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